


To the Limit

by FKAErinElric



Series: Family Forever [14]
Category: Thunderbirds
Genre: Break down, Gen, Pushing to the limit, Stress
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-06
Updated: 2016-12-06
Packaged: 2018-09-06 20:12:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8767525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FKAErinElric/pseuds/FKAErinElric
Summary: Scott keeps pushing himself until he breaks, and Virgil and John are there to help him out. (Related to story Late Night Conversations)





	

Scott knew he was over doing it. As he flew back in his ship his body was informing him he had over done it. He ached all over his eyes were heavy. In general he was just tired. After he landed Thunderbird one he made his way into the villa.

            Standing there in front of him was John. “Oh uh, what happened?” Scott asked

            John looked up at him. “When was the last time you slept good?”

            John was never one to beat around the bush he always jumped right in. “I’m fine John.” He started when he heard,

            “Liar.” Said Virgil, he walked up behind him. Virgil frowned and looked over Scott. “You’re not acting like yourself. You’re becoming sluggish and careless out there.”

            Scott shrugged. “Mistakes happen.”

            “Scott,” Johns started, “We have known you all our lives. We can tell.”

            Scott gave a defeated sigh and ran his hands through his hair. Little brothers one Scott zero. “Fine you’re right. I haven’t been sleeping.”

            “Nightmares again?” John asked

            Scott shook his head. “Nope just not tired.” He let out a mighty yawn and frowned. It was late now almost midnight now.

            The two youngers looked at one another and then back at him. Scott could tell they were plotting on him.

            “I’m not even tired now.” Scott lied.

            They frowned now almost in sync. Scott knew his lie wasn’t working.

            “Not tired?” Virgil asked, “You’re eyes are puffy and you’re yawning.”

            “We can tell Scott.” Said John

            Scott went to argue some more. Not wanting them to worry about him when the two shared a look again. Before Scott realized what was happening each arm was grabbed by his brothers and he was being dragged to his bed room. In all honesty despite his protests he was too tired to fight them.

            “I can get myself to bed all on my own.” Scott grumbled as John handed him his night cloths and ordered him to change.

            Scott rolled his eyes at him and headed into his bathroom to change. He let out a heavy sigh. He knew they meant well. His soul weighed heavy as he started to change out of his usual button down blue shirt. Yesterday was the first official failure of International Rescue. Scott knew (well they all knew) that not every rescue would go as planned. This was his first personal failure. Every time he closed his eyes he could see those people that lost their lives that day. He was struggling, being weighed down by his own guilt. John had often told him he wasn’t responsible for the weight of the world but Scott still felt like he was. Said brother knocked on the bathroom door.

            “You alright Scott?”

            “Yeah, sorry spaced out for a minute,” he said as he opened the door. Both brothers stood there looking at him as if they were waiting for something.

            “Well,” Virgil started

            John looked down for a minute before asking, “Do you want to talk about it?”

            Scott gave a shake of his head. “No I’m fine.” He walked over to his bed and pulled down the blue comforter. “See I’m going to bed.” He could feel the two of them still looking at him before they gave up.

            “Well we are going to go,” Virgil started for the door.

            “Wait!” Scott yelled. His own outburst caught him off guard. He crossed his arms and looked at the floor. He hated being the weak one he had to look after them not the other way around.

            The two of them eyed him with curiosity before Scott spoke again. “Please guys don’t leave me alone.”

            “Scott.” John said softly as he walked back to him. He laid his hands on his older brother’s shoulders. “Are you okay?”

            Scott shook his head. Tears stung the back of his eyes. “No… No Johnny I’m not okay.” He body gave in then. He wasn’t strong enough to hold back the tears. “Please don’t leave me alone.”

            “Shhh, Scott we won’t leave you.” John said he wrapped his long arms around his sobbing brother.

            Virgil ran over to him. “Hey now, what’s with this?” The biggest of the trio rubbed Scott’s back waiting for him to stop crying.

            They knew how their oldest brother was. He’d keep pushing and pushing until his body and soul would give out. Made him a hell of a leader but sometimes it was his weakness.

            Scott took a few deep breaths much like he had seen Virgil do before. After calmed his nerves he brushed away the tears. “I’m fine guys I promise.”

            “Bull,” Virgil said slightly loudly. The bigger man nudged Scott over to his bed and sat him down. “There’s no point in you pretending everything is fine.” Virgil glanced over at John waiting for the logical Tracy to jump in.

            John scratched the back of his head and nodded, “Scott we all know how you are.” He sighed and looked down at the floor before continuing. “We all have moments were we…” He sighed again. “Listen Scott you don’t have to be the tough one okay.” He said as he looked at his oldest brother, “We aren’t invisible we are people after all.”

            Scott nodded. “I know guys.” He leaned back on his arms and frowned. “I can’t blame myself for it.” Scott felt like Hell and judging by how they were looking at him he probably looked like Hell. He frowned. It was another weakness of his; he blamed himself for many things. He blamed himself when he was a child for John getting sick, he blamed himself for Virgil getting hurt once, if he really thought about it he blamed himself for a lot always feeling like he could do more. He suppressed another yawn.

            Virgil frowned at him and John looked worried. Scott knew it was looking bad.

            John fiddled with the ends of his sleeve a nervous habit of his when he finally spoke again, “Scott, are you blaming yourself for the bad rescue a few days ago.”

            Virgil looked at John wide eyed and Scott flinched. John was always very perceptive. Scott had always figured his younger had spent more time watching and learning how his family behaved instead of spending time talking. More time thinking gave him a keen eye on their feelings. John was rarely if ever wrong about what was bothering someone.

            “Yeah,” Scott said his voice scratchy and rough, a far cry from how he usually sounded. “Your right John, it was that rescue those… that…” He frowned and swore under his breath. “It was my fault that family lost their son.” He said, as those words left his mouth he felt the weight of the world leave his body. It needed to be said it had to be out in the open he had to talk about it to someone the guilt he felt had to come out.

            “No it’s not.” Both of them said at the same time. Virgil looked over at John then kept talking, “I was there, and there was nothing else we could do to save that child.”

            John crossed his arms and softly said. “If anyone is to blame is his parents, if they listened to authorities they wouldn’t have been in that situation in the first place.”

            “John,” Scott said making the red head look at him, “Never blame the victims. It’s not fair.”

            John frowned. “I know but they really had no business there.” It was a policy that their father pushed. He never wanted them to blame the victims as it could have happened to anyone.

            Scott gave him a warning look before he spoke again. “Still I could have,”

            John shook his head. “There was nothing more we could do. It’s just how it went. The child was far gone even by the time we got there.”

            “You weren’t…” That thought died in Scott’s mouth. John may not physically go to rescues but he was very much there with their com systems and Thunderbird five’s computers.

            Virgil jumped in before a fight broke out. “Listen guys it’s late. Instead of having deep thoughts we should go to bed.” He glanced over at John then back at Scott.

            Scott paled when he mentioned them leaving. This did not go unnoticed by John.

            “Want us to stay here?” John asked

            Scott looked away feeling a little ashamed before he said. “Will you?”

            The two looked at each other than nodded. Scott smiled. “Thanks guys.”

            Scott didn’t figure he’d get any rest but he might be wrong. The two weren’t in their night cloths and joined him in the bed though it was a tight squeeze with the three of them they managed. Scott was nestled in both of their arms with their steady breathing and heart beats sleep took him faster than what he thought it would. Although it was a dreamless sleep it was a restful sleep for Scott.

           

            Scott woke up at his usual time which was about five in the morning. Though he discovered his younger brothers were fast asleep. He wasn’t surprised John was the type who would be going to bed about this time and Virgil was more of a wake up at about ten sort of person. Scott tried to move but was being held still by Virgil’s bear like hold. Scott let out a small sigh and ran his hand through his younger brother’s messy hair.

            Virgil made a noise and buried his head into the pillow. Virgil Tracy wasn’t one that woke up easy either. Virgil mumbled something that sounded like ‘who ate the cake’ and rolled over freeing up Scott some.

            Scott looked down at his red haired brother. He was trying to figure out if he was asleep or pretending to be asleep. John unlike Virgil was one that could be woken up easy. Been like that since they were children. Scott often wondered how is second brother was able to get any sleep with three young siblings after him but then thought maybe that’s how John was able to maintain with only about four hours of sleep. Scott shifted his weight and ran his hand through John’s hair.

            John blotted up with a, “What’s happening?” His eyes darted around like a startled child.

            “Relax John, I didn’t mean to wake you.”

            John looked at Scott and blinked a few times then yawned. “Sorry, forgot where I was.” He rubbed his eyes and grumbled something about EOS preparing bagels. The red head blinked again then looked at Scott. “Why am I in your room?”

            How tired was John? Scott went to speak and John nodded.

            “Never mind I remember now.” He stretched and yawned loudly, and somehow didn’t wake up Virgil. “Did you sleep well?”

            Scott shrugged. “Better than I had been,” He smiled, “Thank you by the way.”

            “No problem Scott.” John stretched again. “I probably needed it myself.”

            “Will you two shut up.” Mumbled Virgil, he rolled over to fuss at them and fell out of the bed with a yelp.

            The two started to laugh. “I knew that was going to happen.” Said Scott

            Virgil stood up and brushed himself off. “What a way to wake up.” He glanced at the clock. “Five? Dude do you really wake up this early?”

            Scott hopped out of bed. “Yup,” He stretched his body and walked over towards his bathroom. “I’m going for a run. You two can join me.”

            John gave a halfhearted wave. “Good luck.” He said flopping back onto the bed.

            Virgil gave him a concerned look and agreed to go with him.

 

            After the run it was about seven. Virgil wanted to talk to Scott but Scott kept a safe distance during the run. The pair made it back in the kitchen and Scott got water for them.

            “Scott I want to talk to you about yesterday.” Virgil started. It was a long overdue talk. One he should have had after the rescue at the arctic.

            Scott gulped his water and frowned. He remained silent for a second then said, “Fine let’s talk.” He sat down at the dining room table.

            Virgil sat with him. None of the other family members were awake yet. Well he wasn’t sure about John but he wanted a one on one with Scott before the astronaut got up. “So what exactly has been going on with you?”

            Scott sighed and sat down the bottle of water. He ran his hand over his face.

            “John said something about you having nightmares and,”

            Scott cut him off. “A few months ago I started having… these nightmares. They are so vivid and real. I see you guys getting hurt, and sometimes I have some were dad tells me I’m a failure.” He ran his hand through his hair. “I know it sounds silly but whenever I have the one about dad I feel… like I’m under pressure. That you know he’s looking down on me and judging me.”

            Virgil swallowed some water giving himself time to absorb what Scott said. “Is that what’s causing the behavior?”

            Behavior? Scott assumed he meant the recklessness, the guilt trips and the break down the night before. He nodded. “I think it is. I just I feel like whenever something goes wrong dad’s disappointed in me.”

            Virgil shook his head. He reached over and placed his hand on Scott’s shoulder. “Dad would be proud of you. Even if you messed up. You tried your best.”

            “I know.” He’s voice cracked and he stared at the counter. “I just miss him.” He shook his head fighting back the sting of tears. “I’m sorry for breaking down on you guys… I was so afraid I’d…”

            “Have another nightmare?” Virgil asked and Scott nodded, “So you told John about them already?”

            Scott nodded again. “I call him up at night. I once had him stay on the line with me until I went to sleep.”

            Virgil smiled. “I see, that’s why you didn’t want us to leave. You wanted protection from the nightmares.”

            “Yeah.” His voice weakened again. He was determined not to break down in front of Virgil again at least not for a while.

            Virgil patted him on the back. “Okay. Just remember if you want to talk about it I’m here you know.” He got up and headed to the door. “If you need a big strong brother to save you from the nightmares I’m only two doors down from your room.”

            Scott laughed. “I’ll remember that the next time I need a bear to cuddle up to.”

            Virgil laughed again and said something about taking a shower.

            Scott got up to start the morning coffee. He figured one pot might make it an hour with John on Earth. He smirked to himself as the coffee got going. He was happy he could rely on his family and was glad that Virgil had a way to bring him out of his funk in his own way.


End file.
